"Hey little thing, let me light your candle
'Cuz Momma, I'm sure hard to handle . . ." - The Black Crowes
What a busy weekend! From 6:30 a.m. Saturday until 6p.m. on Sunday, all I did was take kids to and from places. Don't remind me that I said this, but I'll be so glad when they can drive themselves. . .
And my poor husband, just when he thought he had a handle on things, the one on the front door fell off. We'd only had it about eight months, one of the screws on it was bad. It had a lifetime warranty, but the clerk at Lowe's said we'd have to return it to the manufacturer ourselves. I took the nice man aside and said, "He's pretty angry about this, we just bought it. We've spent thousands of dollars in this store, and will probably spend thousands more. Just give him a new doorknob and let us go home - keep your good cutomers happy." Bless his heart. . .he did just that. Kudos to Lowe's on Airport. . .
I am a pretty strong-minded person. I have some definite ideas about things. But when it comes to parenting, I find that sometimes I defer to my husband.
For instance, I have this habit of treating and speaking to my kids like they are adults. "Oh NO!! You can't do that. . ." he says, "You have to keep that distance. I don't like it when they talk to you the way they do."
So, when they start getting a little "smart," I remind them to be respectful. I understand what he means - and while I don't agree completely, it does more good to be on the same wave.
It is not that I "give up" who I am, but it is essential in cooperative parenting that sometimes, someone has the "final word." Sometimes I am the one who brings it down, but mostly, the buck stops with him. And, if we disagree, we wait until we're alone to have our disagreement - out of earshot of potential manipulators. Sure, we argue in front of the kids, but we keep it courteous and friendly - otherwise, they don't learn how to argue with a spouse! We don't, however, agrue ABOUT the kids in front of them.
It's been a hard-leaned lesson, but I believe its a valuable one. Parenting is sure a lot easier when we present a united front, and support each other's efforts.
Like the door, when you need to get a handle on things, sometimes all it takes is a little negotiation to resolve the problem. And, sooner or later, you'll get your turn. :)
11 months ago