"Well we know where were goin',
But we don't know where we've been.
And we know what were knowin',
But we can't say what we've seen.
And we're not little children -
And we know what we want.
And the future is certain,
Give us time to work it out. . .
We're on a road to nowhere." - Talking Heads
"I can't believe she's doing this. She's my friend!" Fifteen for a Moment is distraught.
The promise of "friends forever" has fallen by the wayside. The catalyst: a 21-year-old boyfriend. My daughter let her friend know that something wasn't kosher. Now the friend has axed her.
Our ride to school this morning was a two-minute synopsis of my high-school psych class. We talked about men who date young girls needing to have control, and how one of the components of control is to start whacking away at the other people who inhibit that control. . .namely friends and family.
And we also talked about her friend's need for attention. In this case, it seems that any attention is better than none at all.
And finally, we discussed options. Sometimes being a good friend means knowing when to back off.
She can see where it's going, but what can she really do to stop it? Sometimes, you just have to wait around to help pick up the pieces. And sometimes, you have to recognize that you're moving down a different road.
3 months ago