"I'm just a girl, I'd rather not be
'Cause they won't let me drive late at night!" - No Doubt
The Edge (of 17) has been working late . . .yawn!. . .for the past few days.
So, why am I yawning? Well, I can't very well go to sleep until they're all tucked in safely, so I've been waiting up for her.
"Mom, you don't HAVE to wait for me. I am perfectly capable of making it home. . ." she said as she was leaving yesterday.
"Of course you are, Dear. Call me when you're on the way."
She sounds like I did at that age, before I had the "parental perspective" going on. As a young person, you tend to see reminders to check-in as another way that "THEY" are trying to control you. I knew exactly what Gwen was singing about when she lamented "Take this pink ribbon off my eyes!" It seemed like my parents, grandparents, even my husband saw me as "just a girl in the world. . ."
However, some seventeen or so years later, I completely get the reasoning behind what "they" see. It's not me, it's life.
Cognizance of both sides of the issue can be a curse sometimes and leave a parent confused on making a judgement call. On the one hand, I consider that she is a young, strong woman who is completely capable of kicking butt in this crazy world. On the other, she's pretty and petite and would be viewed by some crazy as an easy target. If I choose to err on the side of caution, does she interpret it as a lack of confidence or a lack of trust?
I was talking to my own Mom about this subject yesterday. She's been on her own for almost two years now, and is perfectly capable of taking care of herself. . .but I still call to check on her. "You know," she said, "Grandma used to call me and tell me she was going up on a ladder to clean her ceiling fan. It's not about 'control,' it's about 'common sense!' I think you're very smart to have her check-in with you."
"Well, we all know where I get it from. . ." I said, and we both laughed.
When it comes to "Because I said so!" I have been there, done that, and yes, I actually DO have a t-shirt. But I also feel that she is smart enough to understand that "checking-in" makes sense. So the next time I encounter the eye roll or allegations of being "all-up" in someone's life, I am prepared with my sensible comeback:
"Well, when I checked in with MY Mommy, she said it was okay!"
4 months ago