"Ice ice baby, too cold. . ." - Vanilla Ice
(okay, you can stop doing the little dance now. . .)
Last night we attended a fist fight and the Ice Pilots game broke out. We made it just in time for the "puck off." (I explained to my husband, football has a kick-of, basketball has a jump-off, hockey obviously has a puck-off. . .duh!)
There was a guy on the other team named "Czech" - he was good for a few laughs:
"Hey, Czech him out!"
"Ooops, he fell on the ice - looks like a bounced Czech!"
"You think he has a twin? Maybe we should Double Czech. . ."
"You know how he got to America? By parcel post, probably. Yeah, I heard the Czech was in the mail!"
We had a great time (thanks to our connections in the CIA who gave us the tix!) However, we were sans the two oldest of the gang.
It's always weird to go places with a "portion" of my children. I feel that they are a badge of honor, if not an explanation. "Oh, THAT's why that woman has the pained look on her face!"
The young ladies would not stop staring at Fourteen. And I don't just mean the YOUNG ladies, I mean tall girls with boobies. I was tempted a few times to holler at them - "Jailbait! Keep on moving." It's rather disconcerting as I still think of him as being about four.
Once we were all back home, Fifteen for a Moment shared that she met a guy at work who could be the illegitimate love child of Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck. "And we even have the same birthday, Mom, how cool is that???"
She repeated her birth day and month, lest I'd forgotten.
"Yeah, but his is in what year?" I asked.
"Um, 1988. . ."
"Oh no, don't EVEN go there!" We giggled. At least, I HOPE she was giggling out of silliness and not in an attempt to cover up the wheels that were spinning wildly in her pretty little head - that she might actually GO OUT with someone who was born in the eighties.
Meanwhile, Fourteen was chronicling his latest dilemma as he perused his MySpace messages. "I've got like FIVE girls who like me. . ."
"You know that you are capable of getting someone pregnant, right?"
"Ack, pffftht, ugh! Mom, YES, I know. . .do we have to go THERE? I just said they LIKED me, not that we were, you know, INTIMATE. . ." he waved his spirit fingers for emphasis.
"Just a friendly reminder from the poster woman for birth control."
It is extrememly difficult to navigate this stuff again, especially since Double Decades has made it over "wall" - his actions are no longer my responsibility (in theory, anyway.) I try to keep it light, but I don't believe that any of my children are ready to handle the overwhelming onus of parenthood, much less the complications of sex.
I tucked the baby in last night and kissed her. "I wish you could stay six forever."
"But Mommy, I want to grow up to be a mommy and have three thousand kids like you!"
Dang! The consequences that arise from being just too darn good at something. . .
"If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it. . .
Ice ice baby. . ."
Divorce in Progress
2 months ago