"Sixteen candles in my heart will glow
For ever and ever. . ." - The Crests
"One is the lonliest number that you'll ever dooooooooo!" I sang to the soapy "1" merrily. But, as I was washing the chocolate from the crook of the wax "4," a whiff of a realization tickled my brain.
"Four score and seven years ago. . .oh my gosh! I've got DDD!"
Delayed Dumpster Disorder.
You see, I get these "things" that I absolutely can't stand to throw away. . .piles of papers, bits and pieces of sentimental attachments, a spoonful of chicken noodle soup, used birthday candles.
The evidence is everywhere. . .hidden in baskets, drawers, closets. Sometimes it's out in plain sight. The plant-stand on my front porch: a trash-pile rocking chair.
Yes, it's really bad. I can't even stand to see OTHER people throw stuff away!
("Mom! Please! Don't slow down for the garbage pile! MOM! Okay, guys, she's driving away. It's going to be okay. . .")
Some stuff waits for years until I get one of my intermittent fits of organizing frenzy and toss it. But hey, I MIGHT wear that black linen size four dress that my husband bought me twenty years ago. . .I guess maybe I'll start to shrink again when, my eighties?? That strapless back will look HOT!
You never know when one of the kids is going to open the fridge craving a half-serving of soggy stir-fry vegetables or the last sip of their milk from breakfast on Monday. . .
And I KNOW that I buy fresh candles every year, but someday, someone may NEED a half-melted five and by golly, I am going to have it!
Occasionaly, my husband will call an intervention. I'll come home to a "clean" garage and some "good junk" will be poking its mocking extemities from the edges of the garbage can. Sometimes, its a pile of tupperware drying neatly on the counter as the disposal grinds hungrily. We'll make eye-contact, the unspoken truth hanging in the air between us, and then go on about our days as if one of us doesn't have a "problem."
Of course, the hardest time of year is the holidays, where the giving and receiving of "stuff" is not only accepted but encouraged. It's a struggle.
Speaking of, I have to get off the computer and on with my day - we're looking forward to visiting with family and having holiday company. . .which means, I hope they don't open my closets!! I think I'll have something to eat first, though.
I am suddenly craving a single chicken wing in a ziplock . . .
1 month ago