"You can't always get what you want.
But if you try, sometimes, you might find
You get what you need." - The Rolling Stones
I always said that if I ever needed a storage unit, I had too much stuff.
I have too much stuff.
But it is not my fault.
This morning, the t.v. told me I need to go to Big Lots because I couldn't even KNOW what I might find. I may have been living without a ten-pound bag of animal crackers or a crock-pot-slash-toaster-oven, denying myself. Oh, the horror.
I can ALWAYS find what I need at Wal-Mart. There are things in there I didn't know I need, too. Like colorful plastic items! I don't know what they are, but they are colorful and plastic and I NEED THEM!
The t.v. also told me I need a Mazda, so my friends can call me "spoiled" behind my back. I need to take a cruise so that my teenager can smile. I need to serve my kids Sunny Delight so that they'll say I've got it goin' on and Jif because I am snooty about my peanut butter!
I need to clean my house while performing secret Ninja moves.
I need to eat a four-pound hamburger in a sexy nighty.
Then I need to join a diet plan to lose the weight I gained eating those hamburgers. "My husband calls me his 'Trophy Wife!'. . .and it only costs me ten dollars a day!" Um, that's three hundred dollars a month, baby! You could spend that at Big Lots!
And, of course, I need a credit card to purchase all those things in life that are not "priceless." Then I need to re-finance my home so that I can pay them off.
I think what I NEED is to turn off my t.v.!
1 month ago