Off to Never, Never Land

"Sleep with one eye open. . . gripping your pillow tight!" - Metallica

Is there a force in nature more determined than the sleeping teenager? The resolve to slumber is only deepened by the onset of Summer.

"Good morning, Sunshine!" delivered in my best "Glenda the Good Witch" voice. "Welcome to today!"


"C'mon! It's nine o'clock! The day is wasting away!"


"Rise and shine!"


"Off your @$$ and on your feet, out of the shade and into the heat??????!!!!"

A groan.

Well, at least that got a response. I'll have to find something more convincing. . .

I remember the slumber parties of my youth. . . I was a late to bed and late to rise kind of girl myself in those days. I'd stay awake just to bear witness to the horrors of the frozen bra, dentu-cream fingers and shaving cream fiascos. I always felt so sorry for my first-to-fatigue, reluctant-to-rouse friends - but it didn't stop me from being the guy who tickled their nose.

Oh, that kind of stuff was so mean.

Meaner still were some of the ways my own PARENTS would wake me up. Like the ice water incident - I still can't talk about that. Or my mom and her stunning rendition of "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!" And the opening of the blinds. . . MY EYES!!!! My husband tells a story about how he woke up to find his ponytail on the pillow one morning (although I can't say that was a BAD move by his parents, he looks so cute clean-cut.)

"I sure am glad I that I don't do those sort of things!" I thought to myself as I pressed the button on the airhorn. . .

Have fun!

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