"Marlin: How do you know something bad won't happen?
Dory: I don't!"
- Finding Nemo
"Don't worry. Be happy." - Bobby McFerrin
My biggest fear is that something bad will happen to my kids. They walk out the door and I imagine all sorts of terrible things. My mom says, "So you're wasting all of that time waiting for something bad to happen????"
No, okay, well, yes.
Letting go is so hard, though. My oldest son moved out shortly after graduation to the "house of no rules." He wanted a place where his friends could come hang out. A place where he could sleep till noon and that he didn't HAVE to keep clean. I call him every day to make sure he is okay - usually after ten in the morning, unless I read about a motorcycle crash in the paper. (Yes, he also bought a motorcycle. . .)
My thirteen year old likes to ride his bike around the neighborhood. He can't ride down the street without some car-load of moronic teenagers hollering out the window at him.
So I suggested he ride in the school parking lot, where it is safer. Then the police give him grief for loitering.
When he walks out the door, I feel as though I am offering him up to the sex-offenders, drunk drivers, bullies, and other evil entities that literally lurk around every corner. And that is just a bike ride!
My daughter is fifteen and chomping at the bit - apparently "everone else's parents" didn't just have kids my older son's age.
"Everyone else's parents" are excruciatingly permissive.
They are free-flowing with cash, vehicles and cell phones.
They do not make their kids get jobs or pay their own car insurance.
You can call the home of "Everyone else's parents" after nine at night and never get fussed at.
As far as I am concerned, I don't get any do-overs as a parent, even with four kids. "Everyone else" can go jump off of that proverbial bridge . . .I just hope my kids don't follow!!!
So do I just sit around and wish that nothing will ever happen to them? I defer to the wisdom of Finding Nemo's Dory:
Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.
Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.
Dory: Well you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing
would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.
3 months ago