Choices

"Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” - African Proverb

"Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do.
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers -
So mothers be good to your daughters too." - John Mayer




My daughter's friend offered her dad an ultimatum - either the new wife goes, or I go.

The girl is only fifteen, and not exactly sure WHERE it is that she is going to go if she goes. She is just hoping her dad will choose her.

I find it hard to be judgemental in this situation, to choose a side. While I have been in similar circumstances, I've found that age, wisdom and the magical conversion after having kids of my own has lent me a new understanding of how hard it is for EVERYONE in this uncomfortable environment. But it still just sucks.


I know people who have spent their whole lives blaming their parents' divorce or their lack of popularity in high school or the fact that they had kids (pick a reason - don't we all have SOMETHING??). . . for all of their troubles. Then they use those troubles as an excuse to wallow in self-pity or drown their sorrows. They just need a reason to justify themselves.

In fairness, people process and handle things in different ways. I think I have chosen to learn from the mistakes my parents made - and acknowledged that it was their right as people to make them. They were doing the best they could at the time. It is my charge,now, to choose how I will live my life. I can use the good stuff and toss the rest.

I hope that this family is able to resolve their conflicts and heal. And if not, I hope that they are able to recover from their wounds and move on.

We all have adversities, it is how we respond to those adversities that can make or break us.